Only Superstition

Recent events, and being in the dating world have led me to do a little reevaluation. I've never gone into a relationship trying to be a player or anything, but I've always been out to learn the rules of the game. The first girl that I ever really dated and got involved with I ended up hurting because I was starting at a new high school where I thought I had all options open to me on top of being insecure about being hurt by my first crush, the girl next door. This led to being even more insecure because I had hurt someone that I really did care about, and I ended up being very over cautious for along time because I made somewhat of a pact with myself that I wouldn't do that to someone again.

Once high school ended I was still somewhat over cautious. Later in college I ended up starting to go in the other direction because I had felt like I had missed so many oportunites after girls that I liked would come up to me and introduce me to their boyfriends on almost the same day that I would get the courage to ask them out. Finding the equilibrium has been the trick recently since I've been on both sides of the coin. It's not like I don't have patience or that the girls that I've gotten or tried to get involved with have not been worth the effort. Being shy and the feeling that I missed oportunities has been the biggest reason for my fear of losing. The main thing that has saved me has been the fact that as I've kept getting out there I've figured out more about myself as well as make me less shocked when things go wrong in a relationship so that hopefully if the right relationship comes along I'll be more prepared for it. All of this is mostly just trying to get things off my chest, but hopefully it makes sense to an audience. :)